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©2010

Kymberly Foster Seabolt

Winner "Best Serious Column" National Newspaper Association 2017

Daily & Non-Daily Division Circulation of 12,000 or more

Honorable Mention "Best Humor Column" National Newspaper Association 2012

Daily & Non-Daily Division Circulation of 12,000 or more

 

Since debuting in July 2001, Kymberly Foster Seabolt’s weekly column has delighted a diverse and growing readership. A self-described professional writer and amateur human, she weaves her special brand of storytelling with humorous, poignant, and honest portrayal of parenting, marriage, home renovation, runaway goats and other hazards of modern life.

Her essays and features have appeared in numerous national and regional publications, including House BeautifulOld House ChronicleSalonThis Old House, Woman's Day Magazine, and Baby Steps, among others.

Her credentials include serving as a staff writer for Old House Chronicle and hipMama magazines and weekly columnist for The Farm and Dairy and The Imperfect Parent

 She is also the author of "A Dog Scorned" (in "Bad Dog Chronicles," Brown & Brown, Eds., 2000).

 

Select Columns

Published weekly since 2001

The Great Port-A-Potty Triumph of 2018

August 23, 2018

“If you can’t be a good example, you should at least serve as a horrible warning.”

Joy of Marriage

February 9, 2017

It starts with hearts and flowers and breathless infatuation. It ends with not smothering a man in his sleep.

Declaring War on Mice

December 8, 2011

Nature abhors a vacuum.
Nature also abhors my getting a moment’s peace.

The First Cut is the Deepest

July 14, 2011

My nemesis is small but stealthy. It lurks under the model of health but, in fact, it’s a silent slayer of innocent flesh.

Elvis the Angry Christmas Angel

December 22, 2011

To answer the question of what would Elvis do? Judging from the look on his face, what Elvis would do is punch someone.

The Bats of Winter

February 16, 2012

I was minding my own business prepared to settle in for the night with my fuzzy socks, fluffy blankets and a good book when the sound of thumps and random bellows came from my son’s room. Above it all came the one, discernible battle cry: “BAT!”

Tiny Big Loves

November 16, 2017

If I perish soon it is likely to be from one of two causes. I will either be tripped by tangled leashes and plunge down a flight of stairs or I will be licked to death by small dogs.

Eagle Eye

June 14, 2015

If my son is successful at this, it will be in spite of me, not because of me.

 

Fan Favorites

Choosing a favorite essay is like choosing a favorite child (it's our ShihTzu, Jack, sorry kids!) These are fan favorites.

Loyal Protector Laid to Rest

September 27, 2017

“Ace is falling down.”
The group text to our four family members came across my phone late on a hot, Friday afternoon. I was busy, but the words stopped me in my tracks.

National Newspaper Award "Best Serious Column" 2017

June 2, 2016

In my mind, there is always hard-packed dirt under my feet, and a not unpleasant scent of warm hay, sweet grain and a hint of horses.

End of a Season

October 27, 2016

One day you are five years old waiting on the sidelines for instructions and orange slices. In a blink you are a senior with a captain’s band, endless memories, and a drive to score just one more goal, play one more game, but it is over.

 

Love Me? Hate Me? Want to Hire Me?

Get in touch for more information about my essays, syndication and public speaking engagements. I am also open to any tips you may have on keeping these goats off my porch.